Feeling joy again while running

My boys and me, after I ran a 5K in Jacksonville, FL in April.

As I type this, we are two weeks away from the Cellcom Green Bay Marathon! I can’t believe the event almost is here, and I’m excited to run the relay. Today three of my relay teammates and I had lunch, and then drove the course see where the exchange zones are. All four of us were in agreement as we drove along what will be our 26.2-mile adventure two weeks from now: We are ready, and we are excited! Running legs ranging from 4.2 miles to 6 miles, the five of us each will have a hand (or better yet, feet!) in getting our team to the finish line!

It’s been four months since I started running again – where did that time go? When I started training and got our team signed up for the relay, May 20 seemed like a long ways off. Now it’s almost here. One thing I have learned since I started running again post-baby is that I feel joy more often while I run.

Since I started long distance running in high school, I always have enjoyed logging the miles. But, over the past few years, running just for the love of running has taken a backseat to a new set of emotions. Running became a way of coping through the emotions of back-to-back miscarriages.  Heartbreak. Anger. Sadness, to name a few. Wondering why us?

As soon as I was physically able after each loss, I started running again as a way to work through those emotions.  Block after block, mile after mile, I worked through what I was feeling. There were tears. There was anger. There was wondering what our future held for a sibling for our older son.  Those miles helped to heal. During many races I ran, I got emotional as I crossed the finish line, thinking, I shouldn’t be running this race. I should be home with a newborn, a one month old; I should still be pregnant…

Last year began a new chapter in our story, and I took the year off from running to focus on something we had waited a few years for: Our son, born in October. I look at him, his older brother, and my husband, and feel so blessed, and thankful, for all three of them.

Recently, I was running and a smile crossed my face. I don’t recall if it was the music I was listening to, seeing a cute dog during my run, or thinking about my boys waiting for me at home, but happiness was the main emotion. While I won’t forget what we went through, each day has gotten easier, and I have running to thank for that.

Best of luck on race day to everyone taking part in the Cellcom Green Bay Marathon!  I know there will be many emotions felt on the race course, but I hope the majority of you feel excitement!  I know I will share in that excitement as I take the first leg of the relay for our team.

See you on the course!
Amy Behrendt

More from Amy:
And baby makes four: Ready to run again
What runs through your mind when you run?
Ah, spring has sprung!
The Social Side of Running

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