Today after work I headed to the gym to take on 4 miles on the treadmill. Miles on the treadmill can be hard on motivation. About 20 minutes into my run when I hadn’t completed two miles yet my thoughts started to move to frustration and I remember thinking “Gosh this takes so much time!” It wasn’t enough to make me stop, in fact it actually made me increase my speed a bit to make it go faster but regardless, I had to shift my thoughts away from how much time this was taking from me.
Is it really fair to say that running is taking so much time? Isn’t the truth that I am choosing to give my time to running. Just as I have chosen over the years to give my time to the couch, or TV, or any number of other habits that have led to my oversized, non-runner butt!
I think when you allow something to be taken from you, it puts you into the mindset that you don’t control what just happened. In this situation I control everything about my run. I control my energy, my motivation, my attitude, my work ethic, and my thoughts. I make a choice to push harder or go easy, to run 4 miles instead of 3. I chose to give my time to this run, to this training, and to the Cellcom Green Bay Marathon.
The reality is that running, especially marathon training requires a lot of time. And I anticipate there being days during this training period where I will find it difficult to give my time, or when I will feel guilty for giving my time to running and not giving it to other areas of my life. I know that there will be people who may think that giving so much time to something that is not my family is selfish. And to be honest I feel that way sometime. After all it is not just the time of the run, it is the prep, the recovery, the research, the money, and it can go on and on.
I find myself asking…..
Am I selfish for wanting to have a sense of accomplishment like I have never felt?
Am I selfish for allowing myself to have time to improve my health and self-confidence?
Am I selfish for relying on others to watch my kids while I do long weekend runs?
Am I selfish for spending money on training gear?
Am I selfish for talking about running and training?
Am I selfish for thinking about running and training all the time?
Am I selfish for……..
If I ask myself these questions (and others) I am bound to get different answers every day. I have to accept that while this is a primarily a physical challenge and journey, that for me it is also going to be very emotional and full of mental challenges and choices to make. I have to trust myself and accept the choices I make.
Today I chose to give some of my time to running, and I feel good about that!